Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
