I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
