ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
