so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
