So drunk, too bad you don't want this
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
