I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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