Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
