Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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