plz talk dirty to me
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
