Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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