I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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