Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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