ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
