I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
