dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
