So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
