fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
