You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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