maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
