Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
