actually, I'm a sock model
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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