U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
