just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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