matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
