it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
