Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
too bad you live with your parents still
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
