Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
