if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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