Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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