I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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