Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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