How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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