He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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