Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
