If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
