I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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