Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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