then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
