She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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