South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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