if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
