apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
