haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
