i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
