it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
