3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
