is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
