dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
