just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
