EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
